This right here is the heart of Tesoro! We want every woman in the world to understand that she is beautiful. What does beauty even mean? To me what beauty means is our differences, our uniqueness, our beauty that shines from within. Our Flaws, our mistakes, OUR Journey!
It definitely feels weird to write this up about myself. But over the last little while I have learned that it's so much easier to love others when you truly love yourself. So here it goes....
My name is Kukie for those of you who don't know me. To tell you a little bit about me, I am 38 years and I have 4 Kids - 4 boys one of which is our Pup Tiger.
I am that woman. The woman who had kids and totally got lost. I gave my all to my children and I totally forgot about myself, my goals, my dreams, my ambitions. At one point when my son was first born and Netflix first came out I didn't know what Netflix was and I didn't know how to use it. I remember one day my brother came over and was like why don't you watch this show on Netflix? I actually said what is that and I don't know how to use it. To this day, I remember the look on his face. He just straight up said “Kukie you need to know how to use Netflix. Get up and figure it out.” I am not sure why that incident had such a big impact on me but it just made me realize how lost I was. Although I thought about that moment a lot I didn't actually do anything about it until 8 years later. I mean I knew how to use Netflix but the fact of not living under a rock and staying connected with the outside world.
For me things were challenging because my pillar of strength was my dad and just 1 year prior to my son's birth he passed away. When my son was born, I just gave him my all and just tried to bury all my feelings and emotions and attention in my son. Two years after my first son, my second son was born and then less than two years later my third was born. In all that time I never had a moment to think about myself. I wasn't dressing the way i wanted, I gained 60 pounds through all the pregnancies, and I wasn't eating healthy. To sum it up, I wasn't living my best life.
Just last year I started to realize that I was exhausted. I was exhausted because I wasn't giving to myself. You can't love others if you're deprived of self love. I began saying 'No'. I began expressing my likes and dislikes, and I started feeling again; Living again.
It's hard to talk about these moments because you somehow start thinking that if you say it was a difficult time for you then somehow you're not thankful for these beautiful blessings that God has given me, which is my miracles, my babies, my boys. I am thankful and although those years were very challenging they were also the best years of my life.
As moms, we're required to wear so many hats. I know for me I wanted to do everything for my kids myself, I wanted to cook for them, I wanted to wake up at night with them, dress them, and bathe them. I somehow felt that if I asked for help that I loved my kids a bit less. But that is so far from the truth. You love them and they love you. Doesn't matter if you change every single diaper or half of the diapers
I finally have learned to not overanalyze. Its ok if every single meal isn't full of veggies and organic. Its ok if sometimes I don't get time to do their homework. Its ok if they don't take a shower every single day. Its ok if sometimes I don't read to them before bed. What matters is that my children know that I love them. I love them so deeply that if you ask them 'Who is your moms favourite person in the world?' - all my children will say ME.
Absolutely loved this! Thank you so much for opening up and for sharing ❤️!
This is so beautiful Kukie! Thanks for sharing and I think so many mothers can relate to this! Your are beautiful inside and out and I am so proud to know you! Keep shining and growing and doing what you do!